Of head and heart

Learned first about Pantoum here and found it a good challenge to try ..

In the dead silent night
draping darkness around
“what’s going wrong in life”
i sit and wonder this aloud;

draping darkness around
i try to listen to my heart
i sit and wonder this aloud
“this better doesn’t last”

i try to listen to my heart
it has been silent for long
“this better doesn’t last”
reasons are always wrong.

it has been silent for long
this battle of heart and head
reasons are always wrong
no matter what happens in end.

this battle of heart and head
“that’s what going wrong in life”
no matter what happens in end,
In the dead silent night.

Written for One Shot wednesday.

Spread the love, spread the word ..

0 thoughts on “Of head and heart”

  1. Life is never right or wrong its alws merely life…the moment one start thinkin abt it, it starts goin wrong, its right as long as one live. Awesome expression again…

  2. Very good. Its a lovely form isn’t for expressing regret and melancholy thoughts . The Malayans say that …a pantoum is like a hawk with a chicken, it takes its time about striking. You may like to try and track down a copy of Thirteen Ways of looking for a poem by Wendy Bishop. It isn’t cheap so perhaps an interlibrary loan copy first to see if it is something you would use. She discuses 13 different formats with examples and exercises to help you explore the form’s dynamics and then shows how contemporary poets use and break those rules.

    1. The day i am ready to take poetry writing seriously, i will remember this book for sure ๐Ÿ™‚ till then am going to keep breaking few rules on my own ๐Ÿ˜‰ thank you for the visit again !!

  3. The repetition of the form fits perfectly with the question โ€œwhatโ€™s going wrong in lifeโ€; adds a genuine obsessive quality to it that complements the setting and tone very well. Definitely going to check the Pantoum link after One Shot. Thanks!

  4. I love pantoum–don’t see much of it, but have written a couple. I’ve gone wrong listening to my head, but rarely wrong listening to my heart.

  5. excellent play with the form…some chilling words…the distance between the heart and head can be the longest 18 inches….nice one shot!

  6. Pantoum is a very challenging format, so serious props for putting in time. Considering how tough this is to pull off, I think you have done a wonderful job with this piece; well done you!

  7. I didn’t know repetition had an accepted name.
    For you it’s Fantastic Thought Provoking Prose.
    For me it would be called…Senility.
    Lady…You are one helluva writer…G

  8. I love the way you work this. I’ve seen Pantoum – never played with it
    Break a few rules – that’s what art and expression is all about (did I just say that???) <–Yep

    thanks for the challenge added to One Shot

    Moon smiles

  9. and which rules which? I have never come across the word pantoum before..but i have never studied poetry so am very limited in knowledge of different styles..thats one of the reasons why i love One Shot so much as its helping me learn so much too..thanks for being involved pete

    1. My bad .. i should add a link to learn more about the form for the readers .. will update this later for sure !! and i love one shot for the same reasons !! lots of great poems and lotsa new things to learn and read ๐Ÿ™‚

  10. you create quite an atmosphere with your words here – the distance and the battle between heart and head…draping darkness around…beautiful

  11. I’ve come back to this post and have read it a number of times. Just wanted to let you know that the more I read it, the more I find it powerful and a wonderful use of the form. – Bill

  12. “this better doesn’t last” … don’t we always feel that way. Don’t get used to the happy, it may end and we’ll have that let down; rather than staying in the moment and saying, “I have my happy on now; fate you can’t take this away from me”. I think grandmothers (now that I am one) must truly start to watch their tongues not to keep us all thinking that way. Much has already been said here about the form. I like set forms and I’ve written a few. Never this one. It looks as though it would be challenging and I feel you’ve risen to its demands. Well done. Thank you, Gay

  13. I really like the introspection in this poem. And I am enormously impressed that you are able to concentrate on and follow the form, and still stay within the mood and flow of your message. Excellent.

  14. Ohh….this is AWESOME!!!
    I had once read a pantoum before.. I think it was on Marilynn’s blog… and I was most intrigued by the pattern… and today, once again, I blown by your poem!!

    So thought provoking and insightful!
    Thanks for sharing this lovely piece… ๐Ÿ™‚

  15. The thoughts always “drape in darkness,” don’t they. Perhaps because the darkness shrouds what we can see in the light. Good poem.

  16. the fight between the heart and the head is the longest ever, but it is the only thing that proves that we are alive…

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *