I see a sweet little girl, trying to balance her tiny feet on the sidewalk ; one feet ahead of the next ; holding her fancy dress in her pink fingers. But not for a second do i confuse her with me. I am not her , She is not me. She should not be. Not ’cause i wasn’t this happy and playful when young but ’cause i am not like her today – 20 years later.
I laugh at myself still though knowing well it’s for world’s sake. I curse myself for my mistakes and yet make them again. I live in the pain of lost love and treat it like ecstasy. My words are fueled from the darkness that lurks in my life. The days are brighter than they should be – don’t you know that light turns others blind too ? the nights darker than they could be – i even hide my shadows from myself.
I don’t ever hurt others – its considered a sin ! I betray none, bother none. No one is allowed to love me any more though i seek love from many. I hate just my loneliness as much i enjoy my solitude. I am contradiction that agrees most with my doubts. I am tears in motion, fears that feasts my soul.
I am all this more – And i wonder how i became so ! where is that shy girl gone ! One who loved just herself and laughed on just her own reflection.
And yet you do not need to worry – I stand tall and proud ! Isn’t what the world thinks i am !!
I act what you want to see; I do what you will never like to !
This post was started as prompted at Thursday Tales but the real inspiration came from “Imperfect Prose”. i rarely let my ideas go this way. and am not really sure if i did it well.