I see darkness,
a black wetness
fears I can feel
darkness they feed.
sticking to me
without touching
suffocated I am
alone at this bend.
a void exists
within my being
growing each day
in a weird way.
darkness seeps
as i silently weep
on soul so shattered
a heart no better,
hope receding away
towards darkness
I must not sway …
Written for Poetics – Third Eye Open @ dVerse Poet’s pub
whew lots of people seeing darkness today….a black wetness of fear…shivers…yes i can see this one…
The first four lines here are strong and visceral. Slipping into rhyme adds theat repetition of sounds that feeds emotionally. Esp like(and felt)
“..suffocated I am
alone at this bend.
a void exists
within my being…”
dang – this feels black and wet all the way down…frightening vision…the suffocation..tight write
i agree about the opening of this. i love it. i read it several times in fact.
This feels like the dark night of the soul to me. Heavy, Nimue.
You illuminated the unseening darkness. Very kool, well written, and presented. Top notch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
http://henryclemmons.wordpress.com/2011/08/27/yet-still/
The last line enforces the strength of the poem, and therein lies the hope: you are keenly aware of the situation and what you must (not) do.
Wonderfully frantic word race through fear, the unknown…loved the rhyme, slipped in, with perfect flow. Great imagery…dark…You can come back to the light now… 🙂
embrace the darkness its coming anyway may as well open those arms and scream
a black hole of fright, feeding off fear, very scarey
This is right on…
thank you.
Darkness, suffocating…I can feel it.
Thanks
☮ ♥ Siggi in Downeast Maine
Grim images of a dark black wetness…. nice share ~
really dark, I hope you will find light at the end of the tunnel.
Those first four lines really pack a punch!
“suffocated I am
alone at this bend”
so sad.
This has a ‘slinking’ feeling to it as it’s read…
Your poetry is so vivid. I have been reading for a while and you never fail to amaze me. ^_^
So very sad but so very beautiful as your words always touch my emotions.