you – not you –
me – with –
without you;
some words…
like crumbs,
stick to my feet,
dragged along,
snipping at silence,
his “not-like-love”
ambush my thoughts
much before zenith;
a slap from reality
or reality slapped on me –
you – me – us
no more – still …
That’s all I get outta my head for tryign to make a “Valentine Poem”
<3 or </3
😉
Happy Valentine’s Day to couples & single ones alike !
Keep loving yourself, and others too <3
—
Linked to Monday Melting and Open Link night
no more is good .. new beginnings for sure ..
I liked that happy valentines to couples – soon to be couples – singles – soon to be singles 🙂
Have a good day and take care …
I love it!!! This is so creative, the hanging lines, the thoughts written between the lines, the hanging and pausing, thinking through emotions. These are my favorites:
“you – not you –
me – with –
without you”
“snipping at silence”
Wonderful contribution. 🙂 Thank you.
This is a lovely piece, tinged
with sadness. Love the lines
/some words/ like crumbs/ stick
to my feet/ a very nice use of
several of Shawna’s words.
Love crumbs… loved the title;
Wishes to you too, for a day, and year of love… and beyond that 🙂
ouch this one has some sting to it…love the staccato pace and the contradictions as well…nicely done…
Beautiful. . .love the crumbs sticking to your feet (I’m cleaning house right now) and the idea of words and feelings sticking, lingering, being trampled on. So much here. Good stuff!
very nicely woven…the staccato underlines the crumbs feeling…sad though…but love how you end it with your footnote on keeping loving ourselves and others..
Beautifully expressive write–so much emotion packed into it–Lovely !
Very nicely done, a bit of bite to it indeed. Hate those crumbs on ones feet, but then my neat freakness helps with that..haha
Ooh! Love the form! =3
Haha! Funny; That’s all I get outta my head for tryign to make a “Valentine Poem”. I think it’s wonderful!
http://charleslmashburn.wordpress.com/2012/02/14/i-cant-do-this-anymore/
“you – not you –
me – with –
without you”
I love your use of pauses, it drives the thought and the write. Nicely done.
Love it !
Like the short curt lines, says a lot without saying much at all
Great verse! Very well done….
Awesomeness!
Hope you had a dreamy Valentine’s. 😀