Category Archives: ibeingme

Sleepless

Sleepless nights have become a norm this week. Like a well gaurded secret , the night grows inside me till its ready to rip my thougts apart into million little dreams , some of which are already standing at the edge of nightmarish abyss.
It is not the thoughts that keep me awake but the fact that i have no thouht other than you. Call it my obsession or love for you , it matters not to me. You are the light I follow and search every moment am alone. Being even physically away from you any night makes me feel a part of me has been taken away from me. How does one sleep with one eye open or with one lung refusing to breathe ?
What has coffee to do with this you ask, knowing am more of a chai lover. Well, truth is chai reminds me of you , the way you like to have a different one each night and how much I love the weekly bed tea you get for me. So the craving for coffee to push your thoughts away from my head while I struggle with completing some work.
Sleepless nights have become a norm this week as much as keeping the night bulb on in the room. Trying to trash the shadows lurking around me, I await the dawn to hear your morning wishes.
What have you done to me , I wonder in vain. I know its not you or me but just that fact that its just you and me , me and you , you for me and me for you forever and ever.
Come home soon.
I miss my sleep now.

And they kissed

“Somedays I wish i had kissed a guy before I first met you” she sighed.
“I never stopped you from doing that even today. Go ahead. Have some fun” he said looking at the stars spread in a mysterious pattern above him.
She kept silent, staring at the same stars and suddenly rising up she shouted, “Hurry up then, I need to go kiss someone before its late.” He knew better than to argue, so followed her as she ran down the valley towards their car.Once settled in her seat, she waited impatiently for him to do the same.
And then they kissed.
She grinned. He smiled.
“Hopeless nutcase. Can you not let me watch the stars in peace ever ?” He asked mocking anger
“This is for the guy you were before I met you. You sure have no objection right” she laughed as they drove back home.
The stars could wait, but not the ones they felt inside as the kisses grew bolder.

#Togetherness : The Lucknow connection

Togetherness is not always about staying together or being able to meet as and when you wish. If love is true, these things do not matter ; people said. But some days you can not decide if it is just a phase or that’s how your relation is going to be. A relationship is like a house which has to be turned into home just like two people can make any place on housing.com into a heaven by love and care.
It was only 6 months that me and Yogesh formally started dating each other and yet we were not sure. I do not know what questions I had or what ideas he had about me, about us, all I remember now is that we needed a long long time to sit and talk about a lot of things. But not just talk, we needed the right environment too. Then one day we decided to take a break and on impulse we booked tickets to lucknow. We both were not willing to spend a night together so it was decided that we would go early morning and return same night to Delhi.
It was a crazy plan for the moment he suggested it and I booked the tickets. On the day we had to travel , I was so looking forward to the trip. The morning journey was in a Chair Car seat where we were served breakfast and chai. Settled comfortably, we talked of our time together so far and what we thought was good and missing between us.
When we reached, we first asked the auto driver to drop at the best place nearby for a huge lunch. Happy with the well fed tummy, we considered whst next to do and after not too much deliberations, we went for the latest Bond movie. A coffee and lot of street food hopping later, we decided to go shopping for something in chicken work as memory of the trip. While we were at the shop, there was a very pretty saree that i wished to buy but it was little expensive. Yogesh noticed my interest and the hesitation and whispered that one day he will bring me back to lucknow to buy the same saree.
It was probably the kind of gesture i was waiting for. Or maybe it was all that we talked and laughed about in the day that cemented my faith in this relation. After dinner when we settled in the train back to home, we had started creating a dream in our hearts to one day be home to each other.
We did not do anything different from what we would have done in delhi but just the change of place and being together meant so much for us that day. It was a new light to our paths that had intersected and were now joined for a life time.
I told my parents about him soon after that.
That trip still is my most precious memory together. And writing this post , I realized that this year I might buy that saree too. From lucknow of course 🙂

52 weeks of gratitude : Week#2 ~ Thank you Yogesh

I have been wondering what to write for Yogesh from last 3 days. Before wedding, i have written so much poetry about him, us , love and post wedding the feelings have just been exceptionally overwhelming.
——-
What do I not thank you for dear husband ?? I remember starting a happiness jar and the first note was for the wonderful family I have got through you. Never have I felt I am the outsider in your world or theirs.
I took the 100 happy days challenge and one third posts were for you ( actually it was for the late night chai you make for me When I am lazy )
I started the reading meets and you made such lovely posters for the invites , you bear my dilemma for venues, accompany me on each meet and even pretend to read at times.
you download the songs I like some times so I have something to hear when we go for a drive.
You smile at all my silly ideas and never even dissuade me , even when you have your doubts !
These are the few things that seem small but make the most difference to me. I am thankful that you accept me as I am and even if you keep poking me to be better or different, its never out of my zone.
I am happy for the love and cares as much as the arguments we have because that show that we know not just to please but to have differences and resolve them too.
Thank you everything and every moment you have spent with me before wedding for that made me fall in love with you. Thank you more for keeping that love in such high esteem every passing day.

Across the rivers & thoughts

It was a vast river,
or so you thought
’cause where I stood,
I saw only you –
a few rocks in between
the clear and still water,
like a sky beneath my feet.
The more I waited,
my thoughts built a buliding
with rooms without windows,
of different colors and size,
the overworked emotions
screaming for a respite
yet never giving up on you.
Our eyes met, for the briefest moment,
enough to make the water ripple,
and show us a clear path,
patiently we held each other
in thoughts across rivers
and the adjoining buildings,
finding our purpose
one step at a time
till we meet
where we are destined,
in hearts and arms.
 
==
 
This is a much pending response to this post by Ibeingme

He – she – Love


जो मिले नहि कभी राहों में
आज मिलते हैं इक दूजे की बाहों में
सपनों का जिनको शौक ना  था
आज कहते हैं खुदा से , सच हो हर  दुआ  ..

(This is specially for Ibeingme )

Translation:

they never crossed
each other’s path
yet today they stay
in each other’s heart;
they never dared
to cherish a dream
yet whisper prayers
to make love happen still.

And now to the 3WW poem :

He illustrates love
not with red roses
that she might falsely like;
but with sallow leaves
handpicked from the way
she likes to be green.