And like Emily begins her posts some days, when I began typing , I had the line in my head – where I accept sometimes it is tough to feel loved. Some days I question all that I have in my hands , the love I feel surrounded by , the hopes , the dreams and I can see the piles of my smiles falling down brick by brick. Then I get back to my prayers and instantly , I see a ray of blessing shining on me. Lover boy calls me and in his own special ways makes me smile and make me sure of the dreams we made together for our life.
Thank you God for listening so soon to me.
This reminds me of a conversation I had with mother. I told her , even 15 min of time spent in prayers feel so hard while we spend hours doing nothing or gossiping or any random activity. She told that this realization is the beginning of making conscious effort to pray and be thankful to God. There was a time when I thought admitting that I pray or more so , admitting I can not pray daily and with full conviction in my God , was not a good thing.
Recently after reading doubts and realizations and confessions and love filled posts from some wonderful people I meet here on Imperfect Prose , I learned that being honest matters. Being thankful matters. Being loving and accepting the love is more important that regretting the moments you did otherwise.
thank you all for teaching me so much.
for loving me so much.
for just being the awesome YOU.
cross it off
I say in whispers,
But I know the voice isn’t mine;
HE smiles on me
And in my smiles he stays,
He made me for a reason,
And the reason I know now,
Is to make love happen,
And tell the world
Love lives. Right here.
Within our hands ,
And hearts that beat
so I crossed it off
All doubts from head
And instead,now my
Few months back , I asked myself the question , why I am good [ Assuming I am a good human being]. This was following a discussion with a friend about people being good till they have no opportunity to be otherwise. A true check of one’s character is how he/she behaves when presented the opportunity to be mean and also get away with it.
And after much thought, I realized that my reasons for being the way I am is belief in my Karma.
Karma for me is the principle that governs my actions and my life.
Said In simpler terms , Karma is the cause and effect way of living. It states that the effects ( rewards / punishments ) of every action of yours would be decided and passed on to you in this very lifetime. No deed of yours goes unreported and is tracked till the right moment. There be delay in the judgement , but be assured , it will happen. And to add more to the effect , the punishments are handed down in cumulative manner for all the sins in past.
And this , scares me. One can say I am good from the fear of punishment. I used to feel embarrassed about it before. But not today. I am good and whatever keeps me this way – karma , God’s words , my moral codes , my mother’s teachings .. anything that keep the happy glow in my life’s light , I am thankful for it. There is nothing wrong to admit that you fear god’s wrath. I do. And like a kid scared of the strict teacher , I am willing to be cautious forever as to not make mistake.
May my Karma keep me blessed.
Hope you all find the light for your life and keep it shining 🙂
within the fires of hell,
souls screamed bitter blood,
the air a shade of darkness,
would pause and listen
for a breath that whispered
faith and parise of lord,
or dared to think of peace
in moments between punishments;
that one soul is her prize
to be broken again and again
with whatever means she like,
however long it takes,
there is just no escape
from her bottomless pit of desire,
where neither mortals survive,
nor gods dare to pass by.
that’s the kind of soul
lord sends to set her free
from the evil that shadows her,
to feed passionate fires
into her icy cold heart,
breaking past her words,
like hugs of a small child,
to make a seat in heaven,
she walked out aeons ago.
In his light
one finds the way
of glorified sacrifices,
of immortal history –
Elizabeth at Musical Notes : Poetry Prompt asked us to write a poem in 15 words or less , inspired after hearing the following song ” Joan of Arc” –
The song for em is a dialogue between god and her. And it literally moved me. I was in a trance sort. I heard it over and over. the metaphors , the voice , the music was just bang on !
And thats why it was so tough to write something that made sense after this heavy background ..
Each morning when I wake up, I do not thank God for the wonderful day he blessed me with. I instead check upon my emails , text messages and tweets. As I go about my day, I think of God once in a while – to crib , complain or an occasional thank you for setting something unexpectedly right for me. But do I thank him without a cause ? Oh, I remember I do. when I sit back and contemplate what is wrong with my life. And as I sis to find ways to fix them, I say to God, Oh dude, you gotta help me with this. Please !
I have a lot of questions to ask, and a lot of answers to share with him. I totally believe in “everything happens for good”. I have lived this epiphany a lot of times in the last 10 years. And yet, when I need to cry , I must and I do. No reasons or excuses given to any. When I am upset , I just am. No reasons or excuse small or big enough to justify my sour mood.
I am not perfect – oh I am far from it. But I try.I try hard. And all that I wish is God to see through those tries and trials and keep me safe and blessed.
I hope you will forgive me not praying daily.
I hope you know I love and respect your words a lot but I fail to follow them always. I hope you keep loving me the same as today. And last, I hope you keep all these hopes alive in me, as long as I live.