Tag Archives: life

Why

Why do i have questions
That all begin with why !
Why to prove yourself
In some one else’s eye ?
Why do i feel inadequate
To be a good friend or wife
Why are there no assurances
Why oh why !!
Why do these thoughts haunt me
Not of how , but only the whys,
Why can i not focus on solutions
And rather i preferably cry,
Why this need to be best always
Not the satisfaction that I tried,
Why dont any answer make me forget
All these whys !

Be gentle or maybe not ( #OctPoWriMo day 4)

Not just being polite to people nice to you,
Or letting different people be the way they are,
Not only by refraining your judgements on others,
Or letting the goodness prosper within your heart
These make you not really an ideal person
These free you not from further improvement,
It does not mean your flaws are covered,
Or that your life has found the desired purpose
Can you be silent when a friend yells on you
Without a mistake or bother for the truth?
Can you accept with grace , people who shine more
And strive to be just you , but better than before
Can you admit to yourself , when you are wrong
Or accept being misguided by your own thoughts
Can you bear the critics , without a defense
And silence them any day, without being on offense.
You can not stop learning , or working on yourself
If you consider this not being gentle ,
I declare i can not be so for myself ever,
Only death can free me, or end of my writing.
I introspect , i reflect , only as i write. And thisbis what i have been thinking from few days. Lots to learn and lot to change in my ways.

My "Fall" [ #OctPowriMo day 1 ]

we

 
Fall is knocking
on the door again,
the chill of rains,
and the harsh rays
before,
are ready to surrender,
before the mellowed
moods of nature,
 
So did I.
Moving from the
bitter rejections
and tearful farewells,
I succumb to your smile,
break in your arms,
and gather in your life.
you are my “fall”,
you are my rise.
 
 
 
OctPoWriMo 2013
 
 
 
 
 
 

 
 
 

circles

circles,
of pleasure and guilt,
of success and miss,
of tears and pain,
of releif and rains,
of high and low,
of bend or blow,
of hurt and heal
of touch and feel.
circles,
some we form,
some we hold,
some we hate to make,
some we can not break,
some trap us inside,
some push us outside,
some overlap,
some never can.
circles,
of life,
for life,
since life.

==

Prompted @ OSI ,
Also linked to Open link night !
Been too long I wrote a poem I guess. This was so refreshing.

Book review : The homing Pigeons by Sid Bahri


One look at the cover and I was in love with it. Add to the fact that I love Pigeons.  [ They are said to live with one partner all the life and can find their mate from anywhere. ]
Knowing this, I expected story of two such people who like pigeons seek love and finally find it right where they began looking for it.
Aditya , a sikh guy whose name was converted in his early years is an ambitious , proud and kind person who is forced to make some choices against his values and morals.
Radhika , a girl from small town who married for all wrong reasons and circumstances , widowed at the age of thirty tow is unsure how to spend the life ahead even if she is finally free to do anything.
These are the pigeons who meet , depart , meet again , love , hurt , still love and still miss each other , no matter when and where life takes them. Sid has beautifully linked the memories and flashback scenes to the events in present. hoe certain things and days are meant to be dedicated to only your past and nothing makes sense those times.
Along the protagonists ,  the other characters are as much true to their character sketch and nature as detailed by the author. I like each one of them in whatever role they were assigned – the servants , the friends , the people who became catalyst in the events unfolding in way they did or even the people who remotely had no influence on the events but were still a part of it.
I really enjoyed the alternating narration and the flashback modes ’cause it kept me wondering what changed these two nice people to become who they are right now. It was like meeting them at a coffee place and some how listening to their life story. I judged them on some pages , cried for Radhika at another , smiled for Aditya’s love  and there was some satisfaction when the book ended.
Like , there was still hope for love. Hope for second and third chances , if only you believed.
My rating : 9/10
 
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This book review is a part of “The Readers Cosmos Book Review Program”. To get free books log on to – thereaderscosmos.blogspot.com.

Take Life easy

[ Background : I was upset that a friend of mine said things to me that hurt me. I had hurt her too meanwhile but what made me angry was the fact , I never can tell that to others as easily my friends express it to me ]
So I called this common friend and took out all my frustration and anger on the call. I did not feel good about it , neither could  I resolve my anger over night. I just emailed him expressing I was sorry for what I said and I just need time to sort things.”Take life easy”  , a friend wrote in the reply he sent  in the morning.
And I realize that some days I take being available for friends too seriously.  Most days I love to talk to my friends , to plan to meet them and to randomly ping to ask about life under their sky. But some days , even if I am genuinely busy and in no mood to hear another soul , If i realize I haven’t called a particular some one , I will use the time to not rest but to call. And in that process , I think , I do not give all my attention and care to the person on the other end of the call. This feedback has reached me some time but never before could I accept that I might be really doing something wrong.
As my boyfriend and best friend both pointed to me that I can take time off whenever I want but when I do connect to people , I should do it with intentions to make them feel good and hear them well.  It does not matter if I do not have a solution to their troubles but more important is to listen carefully.
So, from this very moment , I will try to listen more , listen well and listen with all my attention.
And if I am not calling some one , I will make sure I have a good reason and a sense enough to not be too late to get back !
==
This is for Imperfect Prose :

Of new roles and tasks

Life has suddenly changed this week.
Since Monday 11 AM to be exact.
I suddenly realized i have a lot to learn and make it a habit of doing when it comes to being a daughter-in-law , a wife , a home maker in the future. Till now , I did not completely understand how much thought and care this transition would involve. I used to think to myself, one can not predict the situations until you step into that new life but I guess it is necessary to make a note of the areas you need to work upon. In India , Marriage they say , is a union of not two people but two families. And I willingly agree to the statement now. In my husband’s home , every action of mine is not just a representation of me but my family’s culture and values. I never wished to stay in a nuclear set up after wedding. I used to dream of having the guy’s family to live with me and be a part of that family. Simply said , I love to have people around – to celebrate every small happiness , to care for each other , to support in times of distress and to spread smiles to each other. But like all fingers are not same in a hand , every one has their good and bad. Before you expect them to accept you the way you are , is it not wise to make it easier for them to accept you in their folds and seamlessly become a part of their daily life.
Keeping these thoughts in mind , I am trying to cook more and cook better . The first goal is not to call mom or refer to recipe for a usual meal. I am cleaning my room alternate days , folding clothes and keeping them stacked well in the almirah , making sure I keep my things at a proper place. In short , I feel I am trying to act like my mother 😉 And it is not easy. I call up mom and ask how does she remember to do all this , how does she keep the whole house so organized while I get tired after managing my single room.
Exhausted or not , I am sure feeling more proud. More confident and sure about myself being able to handle any new role and responsibilities well.
Life has changed , but for better days.
 
==
 
This is for Imperfect Prose and for Emily whose posts make me pause and think about the blessings in my life.

Disaster

As much as I try hard to think , I can’t think of any disaster sort of situation in my life. blame it on my forgetful nature or the fact that I don’t let any event ‘s feelings clog my memories and moods for long. But if there can be any day that I can disastrous , it be the only day at my job when I got scolded really bad by my PM.  I can not recall the details but all I know is that I acted lazy and careless that week and so by Thursday , my module was much delayed. Friday was declared a sudden holiday so the panic set in by lunch. It was a miracle sort that the task was finished with help from PM and another senior team mate. I had never been so embarrassed in my life before that. and I have made sure the record stays so.

This reminds me of disaster management session we had in our office last month. It was related to natural or the locally created disaster situations and how people should respond to it w.r.t work. Later that night , I thought about how thinking clear , being pro active , being independent , asking for timely help , re-evaluating our actions and having a backup plan ready is so damn important. All this seems to take a lot of time but it eventually saves a lot of time and effort.

Do you have yourself covered for disasters ?

 

 

A to Z challenge : Believe

“you don’t believe it ?” , she asked him as she folded a few more dresses and stacked them on the bed.

Next she took out the suitcase from the almirah and only when she was done packing her things , did she turn to him.  All this while he was looking at her activities with an amused look.

“so ..” , she looked at him questioningly.

“If you had to leave , you could have just left. you know , why spend last half hour convincing me about it ? Unless you want me to ask , when you would be returning” , he smiled as he picked her suitcase and walked ahead of her, without waiting for a reply.

She went and sat in the waiting cab, and finally laughing at her actions , she slowly said, “you really think I will not leave you alone for long ? You are right dad. I am returning soon and make sure you do not have any more fun without me”

And then she was gone. Out of her nest , for the first time ; with his belief in her , her belief in his trust and herself as her only ally.

a flower awaits,
pretty butterfly new born,
wonders lie in path.