Tag Archives: questions

Why

Why do i have questions
That all begin with why !
Why to prove yourself
In some one else’s eye ?
Why do i feel inadequate
To be a good friend or wife
Why are there no assurances
Why oh why !!
Why do these thoughts haunt me
Not of how , but only the whys,
Why can i not focus on solutions
And rather i preferably cry,
Why this need to be best always
Not the satisfaction that I tried,
Why dont any answer make me forget
All these whys !

Realizations

Realizations can happen any time , any place about anyone – provided you do not ignore them.

And when they reveal things about you, it can get a little too much sometimes.

The last month has been little stressful for me even when there been moments of great joy too. But all the talking , thinking and worrying at times did leave its mark.

While I can not and do not want to re think over those lines, here’s something I did realize –

Between you and me

I am not always in sync
With the little voice in head
I do not usually deny
It says stuff I leave unsaid.

I recognize the voice as ‘she’
the kind of spirit I am not
And she has a lot to tell me
Whether asked or not to poke.

These days she been telling
I have lost a grip on things
My head is such a mess
No logic, just all feelings.

I am scared of days to come,
And of failing people who care,
I need reassurance now and then
Am not walking alone here.

I demand a lot sometimes,
She keeps sending the warning,
But to question,if am wrong,
to that, she won’t be answering.

I feel so lost, so worthless,
I don’t know what to say or write,
Between you and me, I told her
I think we both are wrong and right.

Help me, I whispered to her,
And she filled my eyes with tears
Let it flow my dear she said,
Selfless love alone can free your fear.

~ Nimue

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Written for Month of year challenge : Nov , Sunday Scribblings , Open Link night

Ask

Why are we so shy / scared to ask.
Ask questions , permissions and most importantly ask apologies !

I had gone to watch the movie “cloud Atlas” last month. When intermission happened , a couple sitting a few seats away from me came up to me and asked me how the movie began since they were 15 min late to reach the theater. After they had thanked me enough with cute smiles ( both of them seemed to be in college and really young) , I wondered if I would ever do that. I had been to movies a few minute late and even if I never had to ask about the missed scenes , I know I would not ask at all. Even if I can’t make much head of the movie , I will NOT ask some one.

There are other times too when the question is right on the tip of  my tongue but I swallow it back. I do try to ask if i know I can not absolutely function without that information. Else , I let it be , hoping it won’t matter tomorrow.
But it does.

Same is for apologies. The moment you realize it was a mistake on your part , do not let your ego come in between whats the right and best thing to do. Ask forgiveness with an honest heart. Those who ask, shall be forgiven much sooner.

Ask questions or apologies at the first chance. Life doesn’t give you another chance. And even if , it did that , the price is not always low.

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Linked to Alphabe-Thursday – A

Dear couples

To all the couples I have known or met – the engaged , married or the lovers;

I am sorry.
I am sorry to question why you would not find time for me.
I am sorry to think that you “have” no time for any one except yourself and your partner.
I am sorry to assume you have no need for other friends.
I am disappointed with myself I wanted to mention but then how was i supposed to know what it is to be linked so with another person.

Having said that, I still do not understand why I still want to get away at times.
I want him to be around but also be on my own sometimes.
I want to meet people who do not know him or talk about so maybe I can tell them about him.
I want to try things we both do not know about or like much.
I want to know the world from eyes and ear different from mine or him or ours.
I love him and i can not say it well or enough times every day but I still fear losing myself within ourself or finding him lost same way.
I need things and people to talk about when I meet him and not just go over our shared experiences.

So, yes I am sorry to judge without bias.
But I am still glad I have friends who have helped me not to be like some of you.

PS : That gets me to another realization. Few of my friends have been assuming I am too busy or occupied to meet them. Now this post might never reach them but to every one reading this, I hope you keep your friends close and never lose that touch with anyone you met before your partner came to your life.