Tag Archives: random thought

Someday

Sometimes you have stuff to write, but not to write about. Its like this huge craving to read your own thoughts and yet not reveal anything going inside the head. To look around at stories happenning, and yet be selfish enough to hide from them. What if they wanted to be written and passed on ?
Someday, i will surrender.
I promise.
Someday soon i will revive this page.
This bond with words and all of you who still keep in touch here.
Someday I will be back to your world.
To your blogs.

Sleepless

Sleepless nights have become a norm this week. Like a well gaurded secret , the night grows inside me till its ready to rip my thougts apart into million little dreams , some of which are already standing at the edge of nightmarish abyss.
It is not the thoughts that keep me awake but the fact that i have no thouht other than you. Call it my obsession or love for you , it matters not to me. You are the light I follow and search every moment am alone. Being even physically away from you any night makes me feel a part of me has been taken away from me. How does one sleep with one eye open or with one lung refusing to breathe ?
What has coffee to do with this you ask, knowing am more of a chai lover. Well, truth is chai reminds me of you , the way you like to have a different one each night and how much I love the weekly bed tea you get for me. So the craving for coffee to push your thoughts away from my head while I struggle with completing some work.
Sleepless nights have become a norm this week as much as keeping the night bulb on in the room. Trying to trash the shadows lurking around me, I await the dawn to hear your morning wishes.
What have you done to me , I wonder in vain. I know its not you or me but just that fact that its just you and me , me and you , you for me and me for you forever and ever.
Come home soon.
I miss my sleep now.

Think before,not after you speak

The damage was done,
No matter how I thought,
The words had left my side,
And correctly hit the wrong spot.
It wasn’t a lie that i had told,
But who knows the truth well,
Did i act on personal bias,
Who would be able to ever tell ?
Maybe no one would remember it
Or reject it as random theory,
But i would never be vocal again
Untill i believe the facts,not a story.
I was asked my opinion about a colleague today and i said what i had jeard or felt about him. I personally think he did not acted immaturely many times and had wrong impression on other team members too but still I feel i should hve restricted my thoughts a bit. I can not undo this but sure it was a valuable experience.  I suddenly recall a quote thay goes something like this ~
Before you speak , check what you going to say is true , necessary and kind.
What i said today wasnt exactly kind.

smile & silence : Two posts for #OctPoWriMo

I skipped writing yesterday , So please bear with two poems in this post [ both off the prompt perhaps ]

His smile

slight curve
of the silent lips
he fills my soul
slowly, sweetly;
sweaty palms
on my skin,
fingers sketching
trails of sin,
sigh, moan,
his eyes shine
oh love,I lust for
the way you smile…

Today’s prompt is silence. I have rarely liked being silent or silent people. there was a time when after a while , silence would make me uncomfortable. It changed when I had to move to a new city and was alone most weekends. Here is a thought on those days –

Lonliness – a mistress I keep
for company in nights
when all world sleeps
but not my thoughts;
silence – the child i never sought
until one night the knocks
on my heart’s door
took away my sleep;
there was much to learn
and so much more to know
about my love , my fears,
my denial and the pain,
my acceptance , be it late.
There was much to let go of,
the world was no more known
silence and loneliness took over
and I was never the same again.
 
===
 

This is for OctPoWriMo # 13 , 14

blog-a-prompt-week : Day 1 ~ Color

Marathon bloggers came up with a prompted week of blogging.The prompt for today is COLORS. The first thing i remembered from the prompt color was this fiction post I wrote long back. I rarely write stories so the very few I wrote are very special to me.

Colors play an important part in my daily routine :  colors in food , the colorful boxes I carry food in ( I usually interchange the lid for the boxes for variety ) , the clothes I wear matched / contrasted with the bangles I wear , the footwear , the color coded documents I create , the colorful words I read on blogs and the colorful dreams I create for my life.

I can not imagine a life that would be in just black & white. Come to think of it , even these two colors have so many shades to it now that even the monochrome images can have a few set of colors : light grey to darkest black.

Colors are instant mood changers. Some colors are social markers for lot of events & places , while some other colors are widely used for health benefits. Out whole world is full of colors and yet , nature every day produces a new shade for us to enjoy and be fascinated. 

me

That also reminds me of the times I have had arguments proving to my male friends that  mauve is not purple ! Yes , girls know hundred more shades than most guys and I like to prove that any given time 😀

And lastly , here is one colorful image of me .

what do you think of colors ?

i want a baby

A simple desire ? not so.
For one , I am not married.
Also , I do not want to sleep with some one just to have a baby.

And please do not suggest me how science can help me having a baby and blah blah.

So bottom line is , I am not sure when I would be eligible to have a baby ( as per me and society). And yet , Whenever I see a kid looking at me , and smiles at me , my heart wants to just grab him/her and keep him for a day or two with me. The cute dresses in the mall in kids section , the innocent talks , the eager look in eyes , the love , the trust , the fun , the bond .. I wish that for myself.

additional reasons being able to buy teddies , color books , story books , illustrated graphics , milk powder , cryons , funky clips and so many more such stuff for the baby ( and use some for myself too ).

I am not desperate to get married to any xyz. I think I found an ABC sort of guy for me and hope things go well.

But I am too eager to have a baby.
God, why do we need some one to make a baby ?

Can I just not get a part of me molded into an extension of me ??

Perhaps I could adopt one, if only I could afford having a baby right now.
Ok, I guess I should remember this reason and better concentrate on making enough money than dreams for my kid 😀

foolish or proud

I do not know when and where this feeling got its root in my head but I never could ask some one to accompany me for a walk or shopping. If i wanted , I would just go ahead with it. This habit became more like a definition of me when a dear Friend got em going to movies alone and I so much loved them that way.

 It never felt odd initially till lot laters when I shifted to noida. for some reasons , I felt people did not take it as casually here if you are seen alone for shopping or movies. Maybe It is my assumption. But i did feel a little odd at times. If it was just for movies or shopping , it was ok. But it became a habit of NOT asking some one when I had to go out any where. Be it near or far , I adjust my schedule and travel times so that I can reach back home by 9. I do not like some one dropping me home. I would rather not go out than expect some one to bother about my return. There are not many people to whom I can ask rightfully to accompany me some where.

 

Some people think am too proud. Few think i am foolish to try to do everything on my own. for me , its just a precaution and necessity that I be able to function any where on my own – with friends or alone.