I was there,
that dark harrowing place
of self doubt and neglect
of negativity and hurt
of being stubborn beyond reason
of acting beyond comprehension;
I was there,
feeling trapped and alone
from bars of my own creation
from feelings that defied traditions
from ideas devoid of action
from words that shamed all reactions.
I was there
supposedly for a long time
ignoring of my lover’s songs
ignoring the best friend’s hopes
ignoring the stranger’s smiles
ignoring my own heart’s cries.
I was there.
no more, not again
that is not a promise I can make
that is not the road I always take
that is a battle I fight each day
that is a war I will win one day.
what you’re discovering about yourself.
Even before Emily asked this question , I was already walking on the path to accepting another flaw in me [ maybe I am being over critical ] , thanks to a gentle nudge in that direction from a dear friend.
I can not be happy too long
As much absurd this sound to even myself , I feel there is certain truth to this statement. I am more comfortable being a little sad or upset about this and that, but I can not believe everything being perfect or out of my hands. I have to be a little low and kind of become the reason for the same.
Yes, It is. And I admit this behavior is strictly in check from past months.
But I slip once in a while. And every time I am thankful for the helping hand I get from my friends and family. I need to be scolded a bit at times to make me realize how my moods are affecting the people close to me. How I can not always blame myself or fear the worst.
And those days , I place faith on people who love me , on the guy who thinks I am worth all the love and care , on my family who feel proud of who I am and on God to guide me out of these depressive storm brewing on the horizon.
I guess writing helps too ( I see I am smiling a bit as I wrote this)
So that’s what I discovered about myself today ( again ) and I promise my love , I will be better tomorrow and for days to come.
*hugs to myself*
We all have searched happiness outside our self , our home , our work – basically OUTSIDE.
while happiness is an energy source that is inside you , trapped within the layers of your heart. Its like the butter kept in the freezer – all it needs is a warm ray of hope and smile to flow free into your life.
you have to decide what makes you happy and its essential you become the creator of that happiness , rather than depending on others.
This reminds me of a conversation with a friend. I love cooking, but I can not enjoy the food alone. Only when I have a company to eat(and praise) the food , I can be really happy. My friend pointed out to me that I can not be happy this way whenever I want. I need people and I need them to like my food too, both of which are not in my control. He said ,
“If something makes you happy , no matter if you are alone or in a crowd , if it can change your frown into smile as per your bidding and time , THAT is the reason or source you should hold on to”
I have always followed this since that conversation, 3 years back.
Happiness is to create smiles and hopes around you. Sometimes its by treating yourself to special attention and sometimes treating others the way you will like to be treated.
I find my happiness in books , music and mostly in writing.
To write and read others’ ideas on similar prompt or feelings is what makes me feel at peace.
To that spirit of happiness and sharing , Happy new year to you all.
Keep writing & stay happy.
This reminds me of a commercial ad :
Also linked to Alphabe Thursday