I sometimes regret
once knowing you so well
like a part of my own soul,
your words that healed me
like the blood of my own;
if only I could have kept you
trapped in my memories alone,
as if you were never mine to be;
I wished for a sister, a companion
to my lonely, loveless world,
forgetting how our forbidden love
would bring upon us, all the ill-luck.
The prompt for day#6 poem @ toads was to write a poem in the voice of another: in this case, the voice of a woman living in feudal times, addressing her laotang (a lifelong BFF/soul sister matched to young girls in China).
I see her standing at the platform, half hidden by the corner pillar; her left foot tapping to the song playing on her Ipod, looking nowhere in particular but everywhere. For a moment, our eyes meet and we smile. she turns her look away almost immediately as if hiding from me as I keep staring at her elegant and almost attractive features. Noticing all possible visual details about her, I try hard to remember her but in vain. Every name that pops in ym head is negated by the playful smile she has on her face as if enjoying the trouble she has given me. She once more looks at me from corner of her eye and looks at the incoming train for an excuse to look elsewhere.
He comes out of the train and as if she was already aware , she picks her stuff and hurries to meet him. Taking him in her arms she beams like a child who has got an extra candy during lunch time. she whispers in his ear and he looks at me with one of the most heart breaking smile. And that’s when I know who she is. I used to be her some years back ; She used to be me that time. My future baffled at my present ; My present hiding from the future ME.
I see them walk past me with a knowing smile. I miss those days. I miss him. I miss myself. Andhere I stand , awaiting for another chance perhaps.
I am sorry about being sorry
of being forgiven when not asked;
of the depressing gift of the mask
that I wore to hide my wealthy shame;
I am sorry about ever worrying
of the melodious lies you told
of the sour embrace you’d mould
that gave me forever,this disgraceful fame.
I am sorry indeed !