Tag Archives: tears

Promise

“I will always be with you” , It was a promise they had both made. She skimmed through the pages of her diary , trying to read through her flood of thoughts, finding it hard to imagine, she missed the signs in plain sight. Tears fell on the pink pages, turning them a shade darker yet the ink stayed. Her frail body swayed with each sob yet she kept looking at the cellphone screen, expecting any text or call from him. She expected his scent to fill the doorway any moment, but he did not come or call.

“I will always be with you” , It was a promise they had both made and yet she had strayed. She did not deserve being forgiven, yet she hoped he would understand. Just once, she cried, just once.

==

Linked to sunday Scribbling , Sunday Whirl , Two shoes Tuesday

Poetry therapy.

Crash. Burn.Exhaust.
tears I submit at her doorsteps;
Bruised.Crumpled.Crouched.
the spirits lie split between head and heart.
She knows. She understands. she cries.
Words.Feelings.Blank.
thoughtless I wander back to her;
Tired.confused.Wordless.
she hands me to word thirsty pages.
I write. I rant. I cry again.
She saw me feed pain. She saw me bleed poetry.

.
This is dedicated to my mother who recently put up with all my mood swings and relentless questioning of myself and life. finally she asked me to write instead.  I was amused to note that even she realized nothing would cure me better.

 

Prompted @ Sunday Whirl

Also linked to Open Link Night.

She wished

 

She wanted not to cry,
but words forgot to flow,
she wanted to scream
but tears never stopped.

She wanted him to go
but never too far away
she wished it so bad
she held him so close.

She wanted to share
her unwritten songs
which echoed in spaces
she freed from her hopes.

she kissed his fingers
that marked her skin
and together they slept
weaving a new morning.

words we painted : me , @anushreekejriwa and @crosescribe

blue rose tells red sky purple stories of love

she sees colours of love when she looks into the mirror but is surrounded by dull clouds around her.

a plain love was what she wished for ; yet made to see everything except the true colors .

nothing in her life was meant to be plain. Calmness on her face hid the turbulent waves of sadness inside.

nothing in life is ever plain or maybe not; depends who sees what and how !

she took her heart ~ folded into the clouds above ~ let it float away ~ to rain down on her true love

raindrops fell on the loved one but he was already drenched by the beauty of another butterfly.

some butterflies lose colors, when rains are bent , to wash them away

I can taste the clouds in your tears and the hint of love in your fears

the heart is scared to respond and tears are flowing with a wish that they will be able to calm her.

we start as worms and that is where we will return

and make sure we are remembered by the days in between 😀

the earth engulfs her with open arms and she finally sleeps in peace 🙂

hand and hand we return to the earth ~ sisters of time ~ ready to witness the next birth

while crossing the gate she wishes to step into the new world with an invigorating spirit 🙂

memories in one hand , dreams in another , she moves on , with added burdens

with hope she prays that she will be blessed with a shoulder to share her burdens with

take my shoulders and Ill carry you to the beholder 

I repose faith in you and trust the beholder..


You, me and nothing else

It was raining when i woke up. As I stepped out and inhaled the damp smell of the empty lot behind my place. The water fell into the puddles making spiral beauties. I smiled, and the same time I thought of a pic you had sent me. Sitting on the banks of a river, making similar circles with the stones, you appeared to enjoy so much. It was the first pic you had emailed me, even though it showed your back to the camera and a raised hand with stone. you used to send me a pic of yours after every time we fought like we would never talk again. And your smile would melt my anger always. no words ,no apologies , no regrets.

Just insane conversations and lame ideas chasing some impossible dreams and making a heavy drug – a magic potion that became not just addiction but a way of living. when realities offered to pull me down, it was my world with you that kept me smiling and hopeful. Every dark night brought me to your door steps and even if i had to wait for days to hear from you, I waited at the door steps, knocking on the door once in a while.

In hope you will listen,
and even if you not,
you understood me still,
and calmed my chaos.

Then one day you locked the door and went away to unknown lands. I sat staring at the door, staring at it hard in hope it will break lose and lead me to your sanctum – where I know you have left a clue for any one who comes seeking. Oh yes, you did that unknowingly , but I am sure there is a clue in there. But I dare not touch the lock. You will not want me to step in there. You never wanted me to know you as well as I managed to. So I walk away, and create new worlds from my dreams. But I cross your door still, in hope you will return some day. You will return , won’t you ?? The silence echoes with disappointed sighs. You are not going to return, and I will not break the lock, not yet.

The unsaid desire of yours
the unheard cries of my heart
the wait for an impossible time
the sound of fading footstep.

Its been a while I have been standing in the rains, and thinking all this. With wet eyes and heavy heart , i return to my room. As I step out of my clothes, I feel as if i am shedding a mask of mine. A mask I wore after you were gone. An invisible cloak, like I talked about last night. Yes, i changed, morphed into a sponge that absorbs and loses the world as and when I want, and not the black whole I was turning into when you left. I am not just alive , I live. I not just breathe, i make the air a part of me and when I let it out, I wish it has taken away my negative thoughts with it. I drink in the words floating around me and get high on the lines that others sell. Its a simple transaction , you sell some , you buy some.

Words that taunt your silence
pauses that fill the lines
pain that sweeps the mind
tears that fill your nights.

This weekend I saw a movie which talked of one last wish if you come alive out of a deadly situation. I did not have to think twice. I new what I would do – I will break that lock and seek you. i will not rest till I have found you. I do not know what i want to say , or what I need to hear. Maybe I just want to see if you have learned how to hug some one well. Maybe you learned a lot more while away from me. whatever be it, I need to see you once again. You took air out of my world, but it still breathes; You took away the spring , i kept it alive with tears; you took yourself out of it, I implanted your memories instead.

.

One more hug,
one more smile,
one infinite kiss
that lasts just a while.

..

you think I will move on , I did. you think I will grow out of the bond , I did. you think I will forget you, I can’t.
you remember me still, i know. you miss listening to me , i know. you will never admit to even yourself, i know that too.

I know this all,
I know bit more,
I know your ways,
mine, you forgot !

——

Image Source : tumbler

—–

This is the 4ooth post on my blog and hence dedicated to the one I have been using as a muse since I started the blog ! Bless you !

Musical Memory – 3 and a #hindi poem

He hated most of the music from bollywood.

He hated most of the songs with sad lyrics [ I was the emo fool you see since beginning]

He hated Atif Aslam..

and yet, he loved this song …

He even dedicated this to me one day when I cried [ I was missing home too much so I cried on his call ]

Of course I smiled ; He dedicated nothing to any  one. I felt special for sure.

So here’s the song – Kuch Is tarah :

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gr5MO8L-288&feature=related]

and here’s a poem I wrote yesterday afternoon while I was listening to this song.

[It is in hindi , english translation might follow some day]

=~=~=~=~=~=

kuch is tarah…
bol ek geet ke,
jaadu sangeet ka
yaadein ek meet ki..
.

tere chehre par
khushi merei aas ki
dukh mere raaz ka,
hansi meri yaad ki..

.

gam hain ye tere
tohfa ek mulakaat ka
zakhm ek jazbaat ka
kissa kisi ke izhaar ka..

.

sun meri ye guzarish
saza jo bhi ho meri
kabool har shart teri
baat ho bas teri meri.

= ~ = ~ = ~ = ~ =

And here are other musical memories :

Musical Memory Post 2 shared by Poohi

do let me know of your memories attached to songs if you like !

Till next Week !

keep listening to music of your choice !!

And share good ones with all !

Last night

The enforced silence was overwhelming.Words died with every image that nerve cells picked to transmit. Character by character the sentences jump off the brim of my patience. My skin burnt as i replayed the conversation in my mind.Till my eyes could take no more. Tears fell freely in my open palms. As much i tried to hold them, they slipped out f my hands and were soon lost,leaving the salt taste on my lips and the wetness on fingers. I sat so for a long time till the cool skin went numb from my own sense of rejection.Or was it just cruel ?  The night passed me. I failed the purpose of  night.

I really wished i could cry and tell all these to you ! But would you still care ?

Dedicated to some friends lost in time.

Image source

Cooked memories

You love your eggs half-cooked and you never ceased to remind me of that fact. Every breakfast of mine including eggs will ensure we have this very conversation ending when I would invite you for breakfast at my place and promise to make it according to your taste. Though you never came, I do practice making half-cooked eggs – perfect enough for me to nibble the corners and leave the rest for you to finish out of my hands.

shadows resonate
the tears one try to suppress;
silence showers pain.

 

 

Finally i managed to write a haibun as prompted by Victoria here.  Ideas for the post from Magpie Tales [image] , Haiku heights , Sensational Haiku Wednesday